Ok it wouldn't let move the pictures haha
Its pretty hard to sit down and write anymore. Theres so much madness in my life that i don't know what is ok to share and whats to keep to myself...I know i could go off for hours on many things but it really wouldn't be appropriate.
But i guess i can always start off with what i know best!!
And that would be the chillins. Their both peachy keen & growing like weeds.
Lil miss will be 1 on the 19Th of February. & Dominick is going to be 4 in March....Where does the time go? These two have my heart and soul! I really have no idea where i would be in life right now if they weren't here. They make me a better person everyday!
Dominick is so smart, and i'm going to be so happy to get him into preschool this year. Let him stump other human beings on this earth other than me lol.
Trinity's well on her way to walking. She can make it up the stairs like a lil fire cracker. I haven't even attempted to let her try to go back down lol. That's my freak out point. I guess it makes me sad that i really didn't get to experience her fist year of life like i did with Dominick. With everything that was/has been going on it was hard. And its harder to think that she is going to have to deal with this life along with Dominick and the madness.
Hopefully when there old enough they will realize what exactly went on. Why the things happen that has. All i know is i have to make their lives as best as i possibly can. Ex specially with the awesome help i get from my family. Once again i don't know what i would do with out them.
I'm so thankful for my dad and how much help he has been the past year. I still can't believe how long we didn't talk. And how long i was mad at him for. Its sad. But i am thankful today that he is here. And Dominick & trinity love him so much! I couldn't ask for a better grandpa for them.
Even though it still breaks my heart that my mom isn't here to cherish these beautiful children. I know they would have loved her. I miss her more and more everyday. Theres always that thought of well things we be so much different if she was here. Nobody will ever be able to fill that void that's there.
I've came to the conclusion that i really don't like the beginning of the year. It always brings back all the memories of growing up, the happiness the sadness. The despair of always missing someone, something in life.
I hope that in my soon to be 25 yrs of life i've done some good. Did something right. Cause i'm pretty sure everyone hits there what the fuck have i done in my life time point.
I know i have, technically three beautiful children in this world. Thats one good thing. But whats the rest?
My lil boy, my first lil boy will be 7 this year. And sadly enough to say i've finally got my answer that i had always knew but confirmed of where he is. I just hope he is having a wonderful life. I honestly don't think i will ever be ok with it. I know i won't. But Michelle thank you for letting me know. You have no idea how happy you made me!!! How much ease it put into my heart.
Your a great friend and i'm lucky to have you in my life.
Blah i guess you can say today is a blah kinda day...Alot of thinking has happened. Alot of realizations. But i guess i'll just live my life day to day in hopes it gets better everyday
